Battle Of The AssesFavorites [+]
Wouldn’t it be fun to be the judge of the best asses in porn, the one who gets to decide which girl has the finest, firmest bubble? Well, now you get to play Butt Judge with the fun, sexy Battle of the Asses from Elegant Angel and director Sam No (also known as porn star/director Mason, one of the industry’s most notorious eccentrics and one of very few female directors). The usual suspects you might expect to find in an ass-centric movie are present, and one of the best parts is that this isn’t just a one-off, but a new series. Big ass lovers rejoice! There is a lot of sex in this film, but ass worship is really the whole point and a lot of time gets spent in loving close-ups of this cushy body part.
Gorgeous and booty-blessed Alexis Texas is one of the cover girls, and she’s up first. This Lone Star State blonde is well known for having one of the biggest butts you’re ever likely to see on an otherwise average-sized white girl. Wearing Daisy Dukes that cover half of each butt cheek, she shows off that famous ass for director Sam, who asks if she was born knowing how to work that globe she carries around behind her or if she had to practice. Alexis says it’s a combination, but she’s always been comfortable in her own skin – not a hard thing to be when you’re as hot as that. The girl barely needs any direction in stripping off her shorts as the camera lovingly looms toward her crack, and Sam is lost in reverent awe. “Just when I think I’m getting sick of big butts,” she says, leaving the rest unsaid. Those who share Sam’s ass fixation will have to agree, and those who find it a turn-on when women admire each other’s bodies should start springing a tent or making a puddle in their panties by this point. You expect Sam to reach out and grab a handful of flesh when Alexis starts clapping her ass and shaking it fast and slow – who could resist? Alexis reveals how she likes to push the guy almost to the peak without pushing him over. Then, with her skin dripping wet and shining in the sun, Alexis goes outside to strut her stuff in a purple bikini, white legwarmers, and platform heels before she puts that ass (as well as the rest of her) to work on a stunt cock. She sits on his face at his request, and then sucks his cock with her tail in the air. Some guys might be inclined toward anal if presented with an ass like that, but this guy gives “butt sex” a new meaning when he mounts her backwards and thrusts between her cheeks, not into the anus itself. Finally he does plunge his rampant rod into her, but ultimately, we’re all here for the ass and it steals the show even without any anal sex at all. Alexis has a magnificent rear end and it’s hard not to just hand her the “Best Ass” award right off the bat, but we still have five more girls to go!
The other cover girl, Ava Rose, comes on strong in the third scene to battle Alexis for the Best Ass trophy. She’s looking truly delicious in some painted-on low-rise jeans, a leopard print thong, a skimpy white tank top, and sky-high heels. You can tell that Ava’s another favorite of Sam’s because she spends some time interviewing her and getting great close-ups of her ass erupting out of that tight denim. Sam oohs and ahhs over Ava just as much as Alexis, and tells Ava she’s forgetting all her troubles. After a slow, scrumptious tease outside under an artificial waterfall, Ava struts inside to find a guy who’s just waiting to eat her ass and pound her pussy. It’s a slightly rougher scene than the others with a little bit of choking, but certainly nothing shocking compared to what we’ve seen from Sam/Mason before.
Kelly Divine is not quite as famously bootylicious as Alexis, but that girl is packing a lot of junk into a white girl trunk. We don’t get a sassy interview or quite as much virtual ass worship with Kelly, but we do get a pretty hot scene that includes lots of ass jiggling and anal sex that results in an impressive gape. At the time of her shoot, Rachel Starr had just come out of a nearly yearlong hiatus from porn. It’s great to see her back in action, as she truly does have one fantastic butt. She can make it into a heart shape by flexing, she shakes it up and down while riding a cock (we get to see a lot of that move), and overall, it’s round and pronounced in spite of her lean body. Closing out the film, we get a double scoop of some ripe, round booty with Ebony porn stars Pinky and Cherokee Da’ Ass teaming up on one lucky white boy for a threeway. With their spectacular booties, the girls surround him to create a sort of sexual Oreo cookie – let your imagination tell you if the dude or the cum is what constitutes the creamy filling.
After watching all five scenes, you should be prepared to name one of these six women champion in the Battle of the Asses. It’s a tough decision to make and you certainly wouldn’t be crazy for wanting to call it a draw. So many hot asses and just one trophy: what an enviable problem to have for an ass fetishist. The only conundrum, since this is a series and they’ve already stacked the first film so full of bubble butts, is that one has to wonder how they’ll ever top this fine selection.