Mandingo Monster Cock Worship 3Favorites [+]
It’s safe to say that if all the titles of all the porn movies ever made were scrawled onto pieces of paper and put into a hat, and then you were forced to draw out the names one-by-one and watch them in succession, several interesting things would happen. First, you would need an awfully big hat…or really small slips of paper. Second, if you spent every second of every minute of every day watching porn it would take you over 50 years to watch the just last two decades’ worth of smut based on the roughly 11,000 porn flicks released on DVD each year. Third, you would need to wear a bib, because within a week or two you would start drooling all over yourself from the loss of autonomic bodily functions.
If you were somehow able to pull your wits together, sober up from your porn bender and re-integrate yourself into normal society, you would most likely need a good therapist, a Twix bar, some high-powered deodorant, and a quality used autoclave with which to cleanse your eyeballs from all the filth to which they had been exposed. Despite all of that effort and several 12-step programs, you might not have seen a single good production value in any of the films.
While it’s no big secret that porn has low production values, most of us can live with poor lighting, or over-exposure or clipped audio…or poor acting or sappy movie titles…oh, or wickedly bad soundtracks. The main issue with “Mandingo Monster Cock Worship 3” is that about halfway through it the audio and the video, for whatever reason, do not synch up correctly. You hear the action and then a second later you see the action. It’s like being an audio psychic or watching an air show in reverse. Mandingo and his crew have somehow managed to repair the sound barrier. All jokes aside, it is rather distracting. Seeing unsynchronized rapture can really take you out of the moment, especially when the girl is begging the guy to cum, but she still has a massive dick shoved down her mouth. One can only suspect this must be what it’s like to fuck a ventriloquist.
Despite the misappropriation of editing software, MMCW 3 is still a Mandingo movie. That means there is still a hairless black man with a cock the size of a fencepost splitting open white girl pussy like it was a ripe coconut. It all begins with Felony. This spicy mamacita has Mexican heritage and shows off her south-of-the-border ass, shaking it like a paint mixer. Her slutty lip liner seems even more apropos with an extended remix of “Pump that Pussy” playing in the background. She pulls aside the crotch of her g-string, fingering her twat until she gets a bit bored of flying solo. Mandingo is right on time, strolling into the bedroom like he’s cock of the walk. He’s not only that, he’s also cock of the fuck, but first things first. She sucks the chocolate helmet of his umber warrior and lets his balls dangle in her mouth. She chokes herself on his prick until the veins in her neck bulge and her eyes bug out of their sockets and the contents of her last meal nearly come rushing to the surface. It’s like a conflation of vascular parts hemorrhaging oxygen at the same time. She flings herself onto the bed and spreads her thighs, taking his huge cock into her pussy. After boning her in doggie style, her favorite position, she pumps her ass on his cock, churning it around and around like the arm of a Texas oil well that has struck a pocket of black gold. He takes it out momentarily, but she begs to have it back. A quick close-up here gives you a good POV of what it must be like for the Dingster to try to fuck a chick. Essentially it’s like trying to stuff a rolling pin through a keyhole. Felony rides him in RCG and is about to take him in CG, but he goes off half-cocked, the pre-cum already leaking out of his big black hose. She rides him again, stopping only to let him fire off the remaining cum droplets into her face.
Mandingo also pokes Tricia Oaks, turns Jenny Rhodes into a Rhodes-kabob and fucks ultra-blonde hottie Jacky Joy under what looks like a heat lamp. Jacky does two-fist his knob like it was Paul Bunyan’s axe and you do get a great shot of his muddy dick penetrating her vag in CG and she does pat his wet stick like a Sea World employee would pat a whale’s belly, but you’ll certainly feel like a piece of prime rib at a dinner theater buffet watching this scene.
There is one other distracting point of note in this movie. Jamie Elle, who, God bless her, is very attractive, gets this reviewer’s vote for “Starlet Most in Need of a Personal Assistant While on Set”. What does that mean? Well, you know how you will occasionally see women at clubs walk out of the bathroom with toilet paper streamers attached to the heels of their shoes? Unless they are complete bitches, it is always a kind gesture to bring it to their attention. Now, let’s switch gears. What if that woman were a porn star and she began her tease for the camera and you happened to notice a piece of something stuck to her ass? Wouldn’t you point it out and suggest doing a second take? That is the situation Jamie finds herself in. She is completely unaware that a piece of white lint or toilet paper is fastened to her crack. You almost feel embarrassed for her. When she bends over, it looks like a firecracker fuse. It’s hard to believe nobody would tell her about it. On the plus side, she carries on the performance in true professional fashion. She takes the Dingster’s cock further into her gullet than any of her co-stars, far enough to unhinge the herring bone that apparently got stuck down there a few days ago. Mandingo exclaims how wet she is, which is kind of humorous because just imagine how much precipitation might have been down there had not the rogue piece of 2-ply sopped up some of it. Thankfully his rubbery ratchet grounds the static electricity, causing the troublesome tissue piece to fall off. While that is a good thing, it does take a little bit of the remaining drama out.
Look, this is classic Mandingo. And if you’re looking for interracial fare with a huge black cock pummeling white pussy, then you’ll be as glad to delve into MMCW 3 as you would any of his other films. It’s truly unfortunate there just happen to be so many distracting things about this film. We all know porn is not known for its great production values, and that is not the reason we watch. And frankly, the discrepancies may not faze some of you in the least. But, it was a distraction to this reviewer and he would be remiss if he didn’t point it out. It’s just too bad someone didn’t do the same for Jamie.