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You don't need to have watched "Baywatch" to appreciate "Boobwatch," but why on earth would you have deprived yourself of the biggest cheesecake fest of the '90s? If you're too young to have witnessed the spectacle of those famous red bathing suits barely holding in the bouncing titties of running hotties including Pamela Anderson, don't worry. This porn parody from Wicked Pictures gives you all the good stuff that they never could show on primetime TV and then some. Beautiful Wicked girl Alektra Blue leads a team of "highly skilled and extremely busty lifeguards." Who else would you want to save your ass, or your cock for that matter? On land or in the water, these girls are always there to resuscitate your dick.
Alektra saves the day from burnt weenies when she discovers Danny Mountain and Rebeca Linares grilling some hot dogs in their back yard. Danny protests that they're nowhere near a beach, so why do they need a lifeguard? Without missing a beat, she makes clear her intention to service the not-so-weenie weenie in Danny's pants with Rebeca's help. If you like double blowjobs, this scene will really do it for you. Alektra and Rebeca play together very nicely as well. If you haven't seen Rebeca in a while, just wait till you ogle the sultry Spaniard's enhanced tits busting out of her pink top. Even better, she's so excitable getting fucked with Alektra sitting on her face that you might have trouble holding in your load, but keep it under control, because you don't want to miss a moment. After satisfying both brunette babes in different positions, Danny leaves their big tits juicy with his liquid DNA and they rub them together as the scene ends.
Vigilant Alektra calls Jayden Jaymes on her walkie-talkie and sends her to rescue Tommy Gunn from choking on the fly that he accidentally inhaled while working out at the gym. (Yes, these scenarios get progressively sillier, as do the slow-motion-running gags.) Jayden's a professional, so she is careful to check his airway with her tongue and resuscitate his cock with her mouth and cleavage. She brings Tommy's dick to life so he can stuff her pussy with it. You can tell how tiny Jayden is when that thick shaft divides her pussy lips while she's bent over the gym equipment. She has never looked sexier than she does in doggy style with her long black hair tumbling around her shoulders. Jayden cums more than once in this scene and gives us plenty of hot moves to gush over. When one of the best bodies in porn meets one of the thickest dicks, the result is one of the most exciting scenes.
You might think that when Alektra sends brunette super MILF Lisa Ann to "shark-infested waters" we might get a beach scene, but the joke continues as she interrupts Rocco Reed's bubble bath, telling him "no body of water is safe without a lifeguard." He can't turn away a babe like this whose lifeguarding tactics include deep throating his cock and taking it for a spin inside her pussy. (Not literally – this isn't the Spin on My Cock series.) Lisa and Rocco have a horny fuck in front of the bath tub, and the only thing missing is the chance to see them cleaning up in the bubble bath afterward. They've kept the room heated enough with their fucking that the water is probably still warm, after all.
Tommy Gunn is telling Dane Cross about his earlier lifeguard encounter while Dane washes his car. In fairness, they're hundreds of miles from the beach, so Dane's disbelief is understandable. He soon finds out Tommy's telling the truth when natural-bodied blonde cutie Carolyn Reese shows up to protect them from the "imminent danger" of Dane's garden hose. She finds much more use in the hoses they keep in their pants, first sucking their cocks one after another, then filling herself up with them at both ends. Carolyn especially seems to get off on Dane fucking her.
For the last scene, Alektra surprises a sunbathing Chris Johnson by the pool in his back yard. It doesn't matter that he wasn't planning to go in the water, because Alektra easily convinces him he needs a lifeguard. Who else will give him a kiss so hot it stiffens his dick, and then suck it down? Alektra gets hers when Chris eats her out and fingers her at the same time, something a few of the other guys in this movie inexplicably neglect to do. There's more foreplay in this scene than in the others. When they start to fuck in reverse cowgirl, Alektra shows off some hot hip-swiveling moves, but even when she's in missionary Alektra is an active fucker who makes sure she gets to cum. When Chris unloads on her tits, Alektra once again massages the cream into her skin. Maybe it's her secret for keeping away the wrinkles you get from being in the sun all day. What a way to end on a high note!
"Boobwatch" is one of the funniest parodies to come around in a while. The intentional overacting, the slow-motion running, and the ridiculousness of a clairvoyant lifeguard sending her team out to save men on dry land are used to great effect. Wicked and director Jonathan Morgan have delivered a movie that is as funny as it is erotic. Bless those tight red one-pieces!