The Perfect SecretaryFavorites [+]
Perfection is a word that describes the flawless. Something perfect can be considered 100% pure for all intensive purposes and without dispute. People throughout every walk of life struggle to cope with becoming perfect in something. Whether it be decision making or just being more patient, the quest for perfection infiltrates every aspect of living in one way or another. Such was the plight of the late Haley Paige’s character Lela Slavage, in Adam and Eve’s ultra-erotic feature, The Perfect Secretary. This Nick Orleans directed movie takes you on a trip into a world of deep eroticism that touches the worlds of bondage, anal play, domination, and submission. Slavage works with a company that, unfortunately for her, catches her masturbating on seven different occasions while on company time. Why she wasn’t fired after oh, the third time, leaves plenty of room for speculation. However, instead of letting her go, her company decides to hook her up with a firm called The Penuba Corporation. Penuba works exclusively with other companies to retrain/recondition employees considered to be “too valuable to be fired”. If only the movies were closer to real life! Penuba aims to get to the bottom of Slavage’s “masturbatory perfusion in the workplace… And stamp it out.” What ensues, is the reconditioning of Ms. Slavage into the perfect secretary her company wishes her to be. Other than the fact that this movie holds some very good visuals, it also has some great one-liners as well. The script is very witty and offers a good laugh every now and again. For example there is a segment at the very beginning where Ms. Slavage is having the rules of Penuba explained to her. The instructor informs her that it is going to be “a piece of cock,” to which Slavage responds, “A piece of cake?” This prompts his sharper response, “Shut your pie-hole!” Truly great stuff!
As stated earlier, The Perfect Secretary stars the late, but still incredibly sexy, Haley Paige. Paige gives a great performance as the masturbation addicted perfect secretary wannabe. Every chance she gets, she tries to put her hands down her skirt. Her supporting cast is equally hot, featuring the beautiful Carmen Luvana and buxom blonde Michelle B. Luvana gives an especially great performance in the fact that this movie was her first on camera anal experience! She definitely took it like a pro, getting right into her scene with no holding back whatsoever. Of course, now we are used to seeing Luvana take a cock up the butt every now and again, but the fact that this was her first time makes it special for all of us, over, and over again! Also, keep an eye out for the last scene in the movie as well. The group fuck fest that takes place here is one for the ages.
A reoccurring theme in this movie was the fact that all of the women who worked within Penuba wanted for some reason to be disciplined. Discipline came in many forms, however, masking itself as them giving a blowjob or having their asses covered in jizz. Whenever one of the girls knew they were doing something wrong, they asked for the discipline. What was very funny about it was that the men seemed like it was a chore to oblige them. All except Tommy Gunn that is, who was more than happy on both occasions to make sure these beautiful women were disciplined and disciplined well!
The Perfect Secretary was a very good movie if you haven’t seen it already. Armed with a plethora of quick-witted humor, incredibly sexy women, and intense fuck galas, this movie is a can’t miss treat. Be sure to check out a few other Adam & Eve flicks like Lady Scarface, Dark City, and O: The Power Of Submission, if your palate isn’t satisfied.
TITLE: The Perfect Secretary
STARRING: Carmen Luvana, Haley Paige, Michelle B, Trinity, Jassie, Julie Night, Angela Stone, Bianca Pureheart, Samantha Ryan, Toni Tedeschi, Vincent Vega, Tommy Gunn, Reno, and Sir Nick
CREDITS: Produced and Directed by Nick Orleans
“The Perfect Secretary” has a lot of great things going for it. Firstly, it’s one of those rarities that engages you to hang on, not only for the sex scenes but every word the cast utters! If you ever loved the kookiness and surreal parade of David Lynch’s “Blue Velvet” and “Twin Peaks”, then this movie you will definitely enjoy. There is a certain twisted-ness that makes you want to watch it in awe. The actors, though a bit hammy, manage to stretch out an unlikely and nonsensical limerick of a story, that gels amazingly with the sex. Don’t get me wrong though. You won’t get a headache, watching this movie. “The Perfect Secretary” is a rollercoaster ride that messes with your head and your libido. Secondly, this is one movie that will make you want to experiment on sadomasochism. If the g/g action in the Wachowski Brothers’ “Bound” ever left you panting and wanting for more, then this might give you another reason to see this movie. The scenes of S&M-lite look mighty appealing. The kink is soft-core and doesn’t alienate you in any way. In simpler terms, the kink still is tasteful (in general standards). Thirdly, after all this weird shenanigans happening onscreen, the featured sex scenes are gratifying and satisfying. Though no stuff here we haven’t seen before, the weirdness creates an attractive glow to them. The movie starts with Layla Slavish, a hot Latina with a lot of promise in the corporate world and in the bedroom. Sexy, smart and oh so fuckable, the poor girl can’t seem to hold on to a job permanently. The problem is every corporation she works for because of her pathological urge “to masturbate on company time” has written her up. The previous company enrolls her in this mysterious looking secretarial school called the Penumbra Corporation. They are supposedly there to smoothen out the kinks of these erring office assistants. And Layla is their new subject. Headed by a domineering Mr. Cock (Sir Nick) and aided by a horny toad Reno, Layla is thrust into the world of submission, bondage and naughty toilet habits. There is some exchange of dry humor that’s also titillating. With an eye mask on, she is greeted by a sensory test with a soft cat o nine tails, a cold steel dildo and Reno’s straining kielbasa. We expect some action here but there is restraint. An agreement is then signed between her and Reno for her treatment. Luscious blonde goddess Bianca Pureheart then makes her entrance as a semi-dominatrix secretary. She first appears inside a see through cage that doubles as a mailbox. After having her breasts mashed and teased orally, she slinks out to administer a frantic tit banging, tea bagging and smokes Reno’s cigar. All this happens while a turned on Layla slaves on her pussy. In the end, Reno sprays Bianca’s precious headlights with man juice.
We are now whisked off to another part of the office where a group of ladies are in various states of bondage. They are silently suffering from the torture of the ropes and gags placed on them. Their crimes are as varied as their bondages. One girl is accused for poor typing skills. Another habitually wastes company time by talking to friends on the phone, and a mailroom clerk who can’t make a perfect cappuccino. These girls are laid out for disciplinary action. One girl is gagged (and drooling) and tied up, just enough so she can tap the keys of an old manual typewriter. It also in this scene that we see Nordic princess (and porn star favorite) Carmen Luvana. She wears a metal arm support that binds her arms and keeps her from moving with ease. This is some weird shit! With a cute, prim and perfect face, she adds wholesomeness to the proceedings. Angela Stone, on the other hand, walks on all fours as she moves around the carpet like a pet dog. Her bondage thong looks incredibly Goth and revealing of her submissive nature. The two girls play out a straight man’s dream as they get it on with g/g. They lap each other’s broccoli juice as soon as henchman Tommy Gunn initiates a 2 way. All these, again, happens in full view of Layla, as begins to ride her own pillow. Carmen bops Tommy Gunn, good and hard. Later, he decides on a 3way with Angela. Tommy Gunn demonstrates good cocksmanship as he deeply rides a spread-eagled Carmen to ecstasyville. Then proceeding to a doggy style. At the background, the hot Latina and sweet blonde Angela start feeling each other up. But our concentration is on lovely Carmen as she does her two-hand job maneuver, making Tommy cream on her boobs. The segment ends with Carmen doing some lip smacking post-cum sucking.
This is probably the best and wonderfully surreal segment in this movie. The vignette revolves around a woman’s toilet training. Watching a woman pee can be deeply erotic to a guy, but it demystifies a woman’s toilet ways. In Penumbra Corporation, there are very strict rules to adhere in using an open toilet. Toni Tedeschi’s Mr. Cock and Vincent Vega make sure that these rules are followed to the word, or expect punishment. Two guys standing in the bathroom watch a Julie Night (with a black dye job) prancing around an open toilet. She uses the lavatory, spreads her legs and lets us show her peeing. Supposedly, the Penumbra Corporation finds the solution of the girl’s problem through discipline. We see Julie slowly wipe herself and show us how impeccable her Penumbra-style toilet training has made her a better girl. She wipes her pussy in full view of everyone. When it’s dry, she spread her legs and allowed her privates inspected by Mr. Cock, up close. As a form of punishment for pleasuring herself, Layla is made to choose between getting rammed by Mr.Cock’s love muscle or literally squat on a potted cactus. Layla silently decides where to go. There’s a long lingering shot where an open crotch delicately comes into contact with the spiny plant. Toying with her “masters”, Layla proceeds to gently rub her inner thighs and labia into the prickly pear. I would have marveled at the feat of her letting her tuna pricked, but it was just a tease. There’s a funny bit about breaking down Layla’s “cock block wall” by making a cup of cappuccino. We also get to know a few things about the difference between an espresso and a cappuccino. Soon afterwards, Julie Night and another gal pal lean on the bathroom sinks and get the banging they deserved. We have three girls perform oral on the two lucky guys, then a one on one, which later progressed to some hot 5-way action. Julie gets special attention for some mean deep throat, tea bagging fun before their asses get some male mayonnaise. Next came the blindfold conditioning, the setting is changed to an executive office where prim and proper Carmen plays with herself while Layla gets roughed up and bound in a red cotton cord. The Latina wench then gets spanked with a paddle. Carmen continues to taunt and after being a good secretary on the phone, her bosses gives her permission for a quick bone smacking with her pie hole.
While Layla pees on the toilet, Carmen and the other executive get it on. As symbolic as it looks (but beats the hell out of me of what it means) Reno stands on a pedestal and gets Carmen’s adoring mouth in an oral. She likes smacking lips with the guy’s cock. Layla, who’s still bound, makes do with the situation and encourages a three way. But she still shrinks away from full action boinking. As a token of appreciation, Carmen gets some more oral from the guy. Simply executed and without any weird kink, we see a procession of spread-eagle fucking, riding Carmen with a purple vibrator, a cowgirl and some rear parking action. Ultimately, he spreads his jism onto her white creamy hoochies.
Tommy Gunn and creepy Vincent Vega appear again and this time set their sights on angelic-faced Bianca Pureheart. They play cowboy on her and tie her up like a rope trick on cattle. Scared of being tied with willful sexual intercourse, Tommy and Layla discover that her masturbation is a defense mechanism. This psychobabble gets to Layla’s tit, so she gets to a brief locking of Bianca’s nether-lips. But Tommy being Tommy couldn’t leave well enough alone and wants a piece of the action. In a horny 3way pass, Layla finally gets some Tommy cock in her mouth while creepy Vincent Vega continues to play with the cords to prepare poor lusty Layla for more meat injections. She finger fucks herself before she gets an anal. Cock is the answer to her woes after all. This Eureka moment is delivered by Tommy post-coitus. A longhaired guy appears out nowhere and becomes Prince Charming to bundled up Bianca’s Snow White. But most of the time, he just beats his own meat and comes on Bianca’s breasts. Still, Bianca felt enough strength to feel herself up under her stockings. Yummy!
In the finale, we get the requisite gangbang where a now empowered (and soiled) Laylani is untied and walks around the hallway with her boobs greeting passersby “hello”. She discovers a room with Trinity, Samantha Ryan and Michelle B bound and tied up in different contraptions. Starving for some love nozzle, they moan and groan for someone to sate their need. The few minutes here would definitely make you smile and your cock jump back into attention. Their constant hemming and hawing for cock is a real turn on. Now, transformed into a liberating avenger: Laylani becomes a twat avenger! Laylani frees them after a couple minutes of cabbage munching. Where else would you find sultry women say with complete affirmation “I want cock!” in the real world? Who cannot feel sympathy for a tied up Trinity whining “Please lick my pussy” and sound like she means it? Untying them seems an act of liberation. Layla frees Trinity with her tongue. She cries out in relief, as if a thorn was taken out of her side. Michelle cries out to be liberated too, but Mr. Cock catches them, just in time. He gets a change of heart and develops a heart of gold as he frees our purloined pretties, enabling them to act out their lusts on themselves and to an obliging Mr. Cock. In the nick of time, Tommy Gunn joins the orgy. Trinity and Samantha Ryan hungrily lick Tommy Gunn’s gun until it turns to a lively 3way. Julie Night pops out of nowhere and comes back to service Mr. Cock’s truncheon. Her mouth ever so resilient, pumps with an honest to goodness deep throat. Not minding the drool threading out of her mouth. In retaliation, Mr. Cock eats Julie’s pussy, gnawing at her sweet flower like a hungry rat! Her squeals give me goosebumps. She then gets fucked in the behind but returns to her favorite face fucking position. We get funny expressions on the girl’s face as he sits on her face and ram that shaboinka in her maw. Great feat that girl is doing. She can suppress her gagging reflex as Mr.Cock burrows his johnson into her. Still unsatisfied, he goes back for some vanilla and proceeds to fuck her in her love canal, angry sex-style. When he finally comes, Julie is relieved, and so are we. Tommy creams on the two girls too for a final once over. In the end, a freed Laylani has liberated herself from her urges, with the intense fucking she has witnessed, she feels a new power. A power that she will wield another day, or another movie.