Sexy SantaFavorites [+]
If only America’s malls took a cue from porn films, the already brisk holiday sales seen during post-Thanksgiving spending sprees would probably double. Perhaps they would even triple. How? Make the mall Santa a girl. It’s pretty simple, really. Look, women will always go to the mall. Men, on the other hand, avoid the mall at any cost. But, plunk a sexy blonde, maybe brunette waif dressed in some skimpy red and white suit into a fake, wintry wonderland and see what happens. It sure beats looking at the standard, rotund, middle-aged slob with the beer gut and unkempt thicket of chin whiskers who scares the bejeezus out of kids, while promising to bring them a trove of fad gadgets for Christmas.
Sexy Santa explores the idea that Santa may actually be female. There’s no mall and no Orange Julius stand, but the cast is a who’s who of amazingly gorgeous and amazingly horny women. Julia Taylor, Dora Venter, Judith Fox, Tarra White, and Liz Honey all star in this adventure.
Directed by Anita Rinaldi and released through Private Media, the film takes us through the story of a guy who, while lying in bed, has a nightmare about some strange figure roiling about underneath the covers. A trepid peek reveals a bright light and a female figure clad in festive Christmas garb beckoning him to crawl under the covers with her. After some frolic and some yuletide anal pounding, the guy is rousted from his dream only to realize Santa is a girl. He tells his buddy about the heavenly creature who gave him a piece on earth. His friend, wanting a shot at some tight tannen-bum as well goes in search of these Santa girls.
The film contains seven scorching scenes filled with plenty of fingering, blowjobs, pussy-licking, cumshots, and anal sex as the Santa girls go through their overflowing bags of mail, fulfilling all the torrid wishes of Christmas present, save one. For whatever reason, they choose only to mock the letter from some poor soccer player who is ashamed of showering with teammates because of his small penis.
The best scene occurs as one of Santa girls takes out her retribution on two male voyeurs that were caught trying to get an eyeful of the scantily clad helpers. She rides one of the instigators as she sucks off the other before settling into some double penetration action. As a finale, she takes a facial from each before returning to her brood for some more mailbag musings.
Overall, the concept of the film is interesting, though, because the cast is almost entirely from Europe, the accents, though very sexy, fall short when attempting a punchline to a hackneyed joke. The women, however, are all gorgeous and if you’re a lover of anal sex then your pole will most certainly point north. Check out Sexy Santa. You won’t be disappointed. Plus, it’s just one more reason to keep you from going to the mall.