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The King Of Coochie

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Running Time:   136 minutes
Released:   01/2009
Studio Name:   Tom Byron Pictures 
Series:   The King Of Coochie 
Director:   Tom Byron 
Description:   As the self-proclaimed King of Coochie, Tom Byron decrees that coochie is a healthy part of your daily diet, and that everybody ought to have some of it. Easy for you to say, Byron! You're hogging all of the good cooch, and all we get to do is whack off to it! Which ain't too bad, when you think about it.
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Reviewer: Timothy Snarr Date: 3/09/2009
Source: Aebn

When it comes to smut nobility, the name Tom Byron is no doubt a familiar one. And to those who have followed his career through nearly three decades and over 2,000 films, his coronation as the King of Coochie would appear to be almost pre-ordained. Steadily rising through the ranks from Baron of Boobs, to Count of Cunt, to Marquis de MILF, to the more recent Lord of Asses, Tom Byron has done it all. However, maintaining sexual carte blanche over his slutty dominion does have its privileges, and this regal rabble-rouser plans to take advantage of every one of them as he rules over his loyal objects.

Throughout the film, Byron makes no bones about wishing to perform anal sex with at least one of the five girls who take him on, though we find out only Dakoda Brookes would conceivably indulge in such a scenario on screen. Much to Byron’s chagrin, even that possibility seems to be stymied by the fact that coochie is the focus of this flick, something to which he alludes. The cruel joke is made even more so by Carolyn Reese and Ms. Brookes, who seem very fond of licking The King’s asshole and balls during some intense cock sucking scenes. Though Carolyn is the oldest wench of the lot, tucked somewhere between the ages of 29 and 30, she has tone, muscular legs and tits the size of battlements. She goes at The King’s cock like it was ice cream in 100-degree heat. Dakoda is a fine specimen with some poorly conceived and misplaced tats, though she makes up for that with her cock-riding aplomb. Both engage in doggy, CG and RCG with our nobleman, though he exacts a penance from each for their anal teasing by sperm-blasting their faces with the precision of an archer.

Despite being in the business only four months, the interminably cute Shayne Ryder is quick to recognize porn majesty when she sees it. In deference to The King, she strips off her skivvies and opens up her legs for his royal tongue, letting him explore her delicious ramparts. Pulling out his imperial flesh scepter, she then lovingly strokes the full length of the shaft as she engorges his head with her soft mouth, suckling his rod like a wily veteran. His highness soon abdicates his POV perch, and quickly moves to her hiney where Shayne provides a stellar view of her nicely shaven pussy during some nifty doggy style action. Soon, he is fucking her missionary style, building up steam and a huge load of jizz, which he promptly dumps on her face like a vat of molten lead on a horse brigade.

The piece de resistance of this affair, however, is the sublime Tori Black. With svelte, model-like looks, pert tits, and shapely ass, she is a total delight fit for a King. Byron first goes to work on her snatch, eating her out from the front before sliding his tongue up and down her slit from behind. After sucking his cock, the Rex goes into full effect as Tori preens and postures on top of his throbbing dick. Though The King’s viewpoint is thankfully obscured from the visual onslaught, Tori eagerly frisks her asshole while getting fucked. She’s not all tease as she switches to RCG, giving him a nice view of her backside as she glides up and down his glistening lance. After a bit of side fucking and a return to missionary, she succumbs to sucking cum off her lips following a nice facial.

Though the film is a bit formulaic in the way The King goes about his fucking rituals, the girls are young and hot and seem to take their presence in front of royalty – and some nice facial loads – in stride. A bit of anal would have jazzed everything up a bit, though seeing Byron roam the Santa Monica pier wearing a phony crown as he discusses each upcoming scene is refreshing. Too many icons in the adult biz take themselves way too seriously. Byron’s humility and his ability to laugh at himself is part of how he is able to score time and time again with hot, young ass. It is truly good to be The King.

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